It’s Friday morning. I kiss my kiddos jam-smeared faces goodbye and head into my office on what would normally be a work-from-home day. We have guests who arrived last night and, in my effort to squish everything in, (the way you would shove a toddler’s snowsuit into an itty-bitty daycare backpack) I know that my best work will be done outside my home and that my stress level will abate without the additional distractions that are at home today.
Isn’t it an asset, to know ourselves, and to bring this awareness into our professional lives?
Yet, how many times are we actually asked (in a professional context) where we work best, and what tools we need to excel? Probably not often enough. Add the challenge that if you work in a large institution, the rigidity of the overarching environment might be at odds with what (even) a skilled manager can create.
My theory is that awareness brings balance
I come to this from the perspective of a working parent in the field of philanthropy, keeping in mind that balance is critical to anyone, and the demands of parenting are similar to people other care-giving situations. I often reflect on the fact that we never truly know what’s going on below the surface of an individual—something that I’ve had the privilege of gaining a deeper appreciation for through donor conversations.
In this post-covid world, there is a growing fear that we will overcorrect and reverse course as we’ve moved from virtual, to hybrid, to (perhaps) in-person only. Put simply, the fear is that we’ll lose the flexibility provided through virtual work. But, it’s not just a matter of flexibility—I think it’s the adoption of a “one-size-fits-all” approach.
We all have needs. I like to think that I can accommodate almost anything into my personal or professional life, I just need to plan it in a different way than someone without young children.
Case in point: school lunches
In the 2023 Barbie movie, the Ken character is “beach”. It’s Ken’s raison d’être— the thing that occupies his day-to-day (beyond his pining for Barbie). And though the same is not true for my husband, (who unlike Ken, wears many hats) I often think of my husband as being “lunch” in our household. He is in charge of making all of our daughter’s school lunches, plus managing popcorn and pizza orders.
The minutia of my life with two young children are delegated, planned and replanned in ways that would shock the pre-children version of ourselves. In some areas we are likely too rigid, but in others, this is the way it has to be to navigate a sense of balance.
That’s where the work piece comes in. As a parent, maybe we’ll never be as good as our less distracted and better-rested peers but I don’t think this is true. I think that balance as a working parent is achievable if the goal posts are moved a little. It’s a matter of flexibility and equity; having trust in one’s employees—maybe with some guidance— and demonstrating a strong awareness of employees’ needs. This can only happen if there is a supportive, inclusive culture inviting staff to share and contribute ideas on the environment where they can thrive and succeed.
N.B. Deep gratitude to the wonderful managers and directors I’ve worked for, who embodied these qualities to a T.
