Eyre Purkin Bien

Eyre Purkin Bien

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FUNDRAISING | Multi-Generational Philanthropy, Part One

As a longtime student of people watching, I've always had an interest in the inner workings of families. Broadening that notion, I would say that the relationships within fundraising departments are similar to those we typically experience through our families. As such, the dynamics of multi-generations working together in philanthropy presents interesting opportunities and challenges.

Families have leaders, one or two who put the "team" together. Families have seniority, a hierarchy of who comes first, who has more experience, who has new skills, who is the high-level energy, who is more laid back and who rarely has the chance to speak (but when they do!!). How we deal with these differences makes for a functional, or dysfunctional dynamic.

In raising money for worthy causes, we often see this play out between donor and fundraiser. Family multi-generational fundraising is a growing area of interest, as organizations broaden their reach into many different cultures. Family decision-making is not a new topic, and as Canada becomes more diverse it's important to understand how different cultures honour the wisdom and decision-making of each of its generations.

Today I'm shining a light on the other "multi-generational team" prevalent in philanthropy departments. Never have there been more diverse skills and abilities in business teams than in the past five years. With the Boomers finally checking out, next gen leaders have been filling the vacancies. They bring not just new skillsets, but different ideas on how to approach and build relationships, the essence of the work we do.

A shift

Over my last 24 months of active duty my thinking changed, from one who dismissed current trends, to one who fully embraced the ideas brought forward by newer-to-the-field colleagues. The key to embracing this change was becoming open to the advantages that new skillsets and mindsets contributed to securing bigger gifts from donors. In part, this change happened after attending conference sessions on new types of fundraising, and the evolution of individual giving.

What really opened my eyes, however, were the candidates who applied for vacant roles in our organization. It was an "aha moment" when I found an "old soul" whose skills were off the charts but who also had the mindset and inherent wisdom more of her parent's generation.

What was most exciting, was to observe how cross functions on the team borrowed from each other's views and started exhibiting new-to-each-other skills, nomenclature and ideas. It was exhilarating to work in this environment.

Today I want to challenge the "we've always done it this way" philosophy that some of you may still be holding, and provide a glimpse into what other leaders in our industry have determined as the pros and challenges of multi-generational philanthropy teams.

Maryann Kerr, CEO of Peel Children's Aid Foundation, has held leadership roles in the not-for-profit sector for decades. As a seasoned management and philanthropy executive, she has led many diverse teams of professionals. A long admirer of her viewpoint, I asked Maryann her take on multi-generational philanthropy teams.

Maryann, do you have a multi-generational team?

M: We do. Our team is small however we have staff from their late teens, twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties and seventies. Our board is also multi-generational and brings our age range up into the'80's.

Would you consider hiring team members from both ends of the spectrum? Born in 2000 or born in 1960 or earlier?

M: Absolutely. We have and we will again. I see an incredible amount of ageism at both ends of this. There is much disparagement about young people lacking a strong work ethic and we tend to write older folks off or put them out to pasture, when they still have so much to offer. There is a great resource book on this topic written by Taylor & Lebo called, "The Talent Revolution."

What do you see as an advantage to having many different generations come together?

M: As a team, we have a lot of fun with the generational perspective. We have given each other permission to introduce fun into the workplace around this. For instance, when there's a new software program to learn, we recognize that the younger gen staff are going to adapt more readily, and they make space for an old timer like me who needs longer to adapt.

I never want to compare our work team to a family because I think that gets us into trouble. We can't forget that families can be very dysfunctional. In the workplace, multi-generational teams work if we truly see each other, value our different perspectives and engage in open, honest, direct communication. We give each other support and value the learning we garner from each other. Sometimes it's surprising to discover a younger person who is not enthralled with social media and an older individual who is.

We have a team member in her seventies, who very often captures a lengthy team interaction with one line of wisdom. That's something learned over many years, and we love her for it. We all bring our best selves to the work and that doesn't mean that we are at 100% every day. When one team member needs extra support, we all pitch in.

Once again, Maryann has me thinking differently about something I steadfastly believed going into a topic.

Her caution about the "family" aspect of teams alerted me to a trap within this perspective. In the past, I (far too often) felt annoyed by someone I thought I was in sync with, because they disagreed with me or didn't support my decisions.

The fact is, your workmates and your boss, are not your family. Youi may get along when times are going well, but you may have to separate personal feelings from the day-to-day interactions of a healthy working team. Because, in the end, it's natural to be ambitious and everyone in leadership should have their first loyalty be to the good of the organization. Anyone who thinks otherwise could be hurt (looking in the mirror here). Or, as a lovely former colleague would say, "Eyre—work is work, boss is boss."

Can you relate to this topic? Let's continue the dialogue at eyrepurkin@gmail.com. Happy Summer, and see you in September for Part Two, Multigenerational Fundraising, The Family.

Eyre Purkin Bien, CFRE is a 32-year philanthropy executive with specialties in donor development, major gifts and campaign design and implementation. Retired now, doing other things.

PRO TIPS | Moving On With Grace

The only time I was "restructured out" offered a teachable moment that endured over four decades of work experience. Initially hurt, the death of my post-college dream job was a huge blow. Yet over time the lessons from this experience were significant, the biggest revelation being, often it's not about you at all. You get caught in a "change of direction" or "switching things up" or government funding for fresh talent hired straight out of college simply runs out (my situation). It's sad, but the truth is that there's so much going on operationally that often we are simply a blip on the radar of management's thought process.

I also learned from that first adult career situation, that some people avoided the cut so I studied what made them "wanted" while I was not. Determined to ensure my own success moving forward, and to never experience that feeling of failure, again, I was highly motivated to always leave a workplace under my own steam. I worked at highlighting my skills and honing talents, being reliable, going above and beyond, being agreeably adaptable (while not a pushover), and keeping my own counsel. Every time I left an employer after that first experience, it was on my terms in a gentle manner for both my employer and me.

Just as valuable as staying employable is leaving an employer in a manner that they want you back.

  • First, do no harm. While you might feel a temporary high telling your boss where to go and how to get there, you'll only hurt yourself in the end. As your time at a place comes to an end, the quieter your exit, the better for you. People move all the time, and often the superior you had so much trouble with will also leave. I've known people who parted ways amicably only to be asked back when the "real problem" is solved.
  • It's not you it's me. There is a point where you see the cracks in the relationship, or a role isn't what you expected and there's no recourse. Rather than accept that as inevitable, move on. The door goes both ways. The more you gripe, and make it "all their fault" the more it will come back to bite you.
  • I have learned so much here, it's time to see if I can be as successful on my own. This is a case of self-awareness. We get too comfortable and begin to wonder what would it be like if I was the boss. That's fair, and leaves the door open if you find out the grass is not greener on the other side.
  • This opportunity is too important in my career path, not to take. Simple. Straightforward. But be prepared that leadership may work to keep you with offers of a higher title, a bigger role or increased pay. If your resignation is a career ploy you may get what you want this time, but your work will be under a microscope, to say nothing of the other employer who feels jerked around.
  • I am not as excited in my role as I was when I started. I need a fresh new challenge. This is likely the ultimate goodbye. We've all been there. Most often the response is understanding and sadness that there isn't something to offer you but a door is always left open in case you want to return.

Each of these examples captures the internal dialogue that motivates one to leave, without getting into the negatives that may also be contributing factors for change. Hindsight makes me wish I had been braver and moved earlier in some instances, but each time I stayed until I had truly done all I could to be positively effective and productive.

You know when you're done. Just don't burn the bridge on your way out of town.

Eyre Purkin Bien CFRE is now retired and doing other things.

CAREER | The Art of Moving—Moving Up, Moving Sideways, Moving On

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Is anyone besides me tired of being asked this question at a job interview or performance review? How often do you have an answer that really speaks to your ambition, insights and skills, confidence and abilities? More often than not, I wanted to say that "I see myself here, doing a good job, liking what I do and who I do it for."

Now, forty plus years later, I've moved roles often. I was mostly in the driver's seat of the decision-making but a couple of times I was not.

Being in control of your career change is more important than the new role itself. While being laid off sucks (my very first job in broadcasting - a soul crusher) being chosen for something new, something innovative that your leadership hand picks you for—that's an incredible rush. How do you say no to an opportunity brought to you by the CEO who says, "we have a need, and we think you're the right person for the job." It's heady stuff. In hindsight, I'm not sure whether it was my ego or enthusiasm that answered "Yes. Absolutely. When do I start?"

Moving up is something we're hardwired to want

The successful individuals I admire do the job at hand—effectively and efficiently—while staying in their lane. Their work speaks for itself while the loudest voice in the room (the vibrating souls who come in oozing confidence and looking for the ladder) implode, as fast-moving meteoric stars eventually do.

Doing the same thing for years will eventually wear us out. I've found the average threshold to be 2-3 years, depending on what else a person has going on in their life. We may love an organization but still welcome a segue into something new and different. It can be difficult to break out of the duties we excel at and end up getting pigeonholed into a role we do well. In this scenario, perseverance is key, as is having a meaningful conversation with your supervisor. Remember, there is a huge plus side to applying for a new role within your organization (whether successful or not). Leadership will notice and become aware that you have other skills.

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got

I've known many multiskilled, talented colleagues who successfully migrated to a new department and different sets of duties. In legacy media, it usually happened within the programming realm; start at the bottom, learn as you go and grow into a new role. This also happened in nonprofit. Lateral moves were often from the service delivery side taking on management roles, with an occasional move to philanthropy. Very rarely did I see a move into administration (sorry finance and human resources). However, knowing the impact of donor support doesn't necessarily mean being able to articulate it engagingly. Rightly or wrongly, the two sides of any house sometimes have a disdain for each other. Fundraisers (like salespeople in media) are often seen as a necessary evil. Believe it or not, inter-departmental moves can be harder to achieve in your own organization, which is the number one reason people move on, to "move up."

Leaving an organization is not an easy decision—even if it's your own

Discounting moving to another city or country, there are several other reasons people "move on." Being passed over for a key position, perhaps more than once, is a typical situation. Organizational culture is another big one. If you haven't worked in a toxic environment, please let me know, I want to meet you. When leadership knows something is wrong, and doesn't fix it, it can permeate an organization. While you may think you can be the one voice to change it from within, it's a challenge. Often, moving on will be the only healthy and rational thing to do. The trick is not to become complacent, or jaded because then you are part of the problem. A few things to watch for -

  • Is it always "the organization's fault?"
  • Are you someone who sees impropriety in every gesture or comment?
  • Do you take on roles you're not equipped to handle, because moving the needle on your career is your primary concern?

If so, I encourage you to look at your own employment pattern. Is it personal impatience? An overblown sense of your own abilities? Or, are you wearing your belt so high (the old adage of hitting someone below the belt) that any constructive suggestion is criticism you don't have to tolerate? I believe in self-reflection and owning and acknowledging your own part in every circumstance.

Let your own light shine, look for opportunities to advance, but don't run over other people on your rise to the top. What goes around comes around harder.

Moving up or moving sideways have these shining prerequisites:

  • excel in your current role, it will be noticed
  • don't make excuses, take responsibility
  • problem solve solutions, not just complaints
  • lean in on your current role, but also own your boundaries
  • don't be taken advantage of, your peers see, and office gossip is cruel
  • patience commands respects
  • be realistic about your skills and limitations
  • don't wait forever for the next step

It's your career to own. You are the captain of your professional destiny, so row your boat with courage and confidence. Regrets, you'll have a few but hopefully too few to mention.

Eyre Purkin Bien CFRE is enjoying catching her breath after 40 plus years in both the nonprofit (not for profit philanthropy) and private sector (media, public relations and communications). Having held leadership roles throughout her career she is returning to her first love, talking about it. By sharing insights, techniques and lessons learned, Eyre hopes to instruct and inspire those still in the trenches. Your feedback and questions are welcome. eyrepurkin@gmail.com