Those on the introverted side of the spectrum, should be able to step into our strengths and flourish
One of the times that we have felt most seen in our careers was reading Susan Cain’s “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking”. In it, she notes that Western culture as a whole, and particularly the work world, has been shaped by an extrovert ideal, making it difficult for introverts to thrive in an environment that values outgoing, spotlight-seeking (or at least spotlight-comfortable) folks with the gift of holding forth.
Yes! we thought, yes! It is difficult as an introvert to navigate the trappings of work culture, particularly the need for an emphasis on networking.
Sadly, the book did not excuse us from the dominant culture of exuberant togetherness. What it did do was provide a framework of how to use introvert strengths to our advantage. And, believe it or not, we actually enjoy networking now.
We wrote about this in our new book, From the Ground Up: Prospect Research for Nonprofits, sharing tips and tricks for those on the introverted side of the spectrum, because all of us should be able to step into our strengths and flourish—regardless of situations we might find ourselves in. Here are a few strategies to get you started.
Recognize who you are
This may sound basic and a little “woo-woo,” but be honest with yourself. Are you someone who comes away from large gatherings meeting new people feeling energized and excited? Or, did even entertaining that idea make you want to roll up in a ball with your hoodie over your eyes? If you are on the introvert side of the scale, the thought—let alone the action—of mingling with strangers is intimidating. And that’s okay.
What’s not okay is forcing yourself to live up to extrovert standards and then beating yourself up when you become drained and burned out. Being introverted, or neurodivergent, or being anything that makes social interaction require a high amount of effort or masking, is not a reflection of your character. Please do not let the fact that your comfort level or social-emotional skillset is incompatible with the norms of a specific and narrow experience make you feel any less. Also, being an introvert doesn’t mean that you’re incapable of networking in a big group, but if you know and accept that you’re going to feel drained afterwards, you can \ build in time following the event to recharge.
Being an introvert, can make you an excellent networker because our strengths lie in one-on-one connection and focus. Just because you’re not “working the room” doesn’t mean you’re not doing great.
Choose your methods
Does it actually make sense for you to go to large gatherings? Would it make more sense to connect with people you’re interested in over coffee? Think about what will make sense for your schedule, energy, and goals.
Speaking of goals, be mindful
What are you looking to achieve through networking? It can be helpful to set an intention for yourself. For example, at this event, I would like to connect with one person who has experience in X. Or, at this alumni cocktail gathering, I would like to connect with people from my year and find out what they are currently up to.
A simple and reasonable intention can be I will initiate conversations with three new people. That’s the goal. That can be done, right? Of course it can.
Try attending learning sessions so that you are among people who are also trying to learn something new. Ask your peers what they have found useful or interesting (which, by the way, is also a form of networking) and try it. All of these are great opportunities to learn and connect.
Use the buddy system
As introverts, we are much more comfortable attending a large networking event when we have at least one colleague, or friendly face to lean on in moments of overwhelm. Because this can quickly become a way not to actively network, (and instead just stick to your buddy) you may want to use a buddy “system” as detailed in the movie Party Monster (stay with us, this does have a pertinent point!).
The character James St. James instructs his protégé on how to work a room in the following way: Enter with your friend and then immediately move around the space in opposite directions. Engage with each cluster of people you encounter, mentioning that you came with your friend and are looking for them…until you joyously reunite with your friend somewhere in the middle. Then, friend in tow, go back to all your new contacts to let them know that you found your friend!
Do you have to do it exactly like that? Of course not! (We share it in the spirit of BEAR—Borrow Everything And Revise.) However, it is a great way to ensure that both you and your buddy are moving around the room, have a goal in mind and an exit strategy for any conversations that goes on too long.
Collect business cards or contact information
Yes, people still have business cards. And they even carry them sometimes! When you have a conversation with a new person, ask for their business card.
Do you need to prep basic business cards to exchange? You can, if you like, and there are printing shops that can do nice business cards for reasonable prices. It’s not necessary, though, because even without business cards you can set up a QR code on your phone that allows people to scan and find your LinkedIn profile immediately.
This is helpful if you don’t have official business cards or left them at home. It can also make you appear tech savvy, which, depending on the circles, is an enormous win.
In the absence of either a QR code or business card, there’s always standing with your phone and searching one another on LinkedIn, which—while a little awkward—is still effective.
Follow up
You’ve made some contacts. Now what? You connect on LinkedIn or by sending an email or text—whatever method you feel most comfortable with. State where you met them, how much you enjoyed the meeting, and ask would they be open to connecting for coffee/informational interview for expanding on that thing that you found so interesting. Be intentional.
Take time to absorb the experience
Networking can be a lot. We strongly advise allowing yourself time to sit with the experience and consider what you learned. It can be beneficial to jot down thoughts and then review them after the fact.
Keep perspective
Regardless of how you gain your energy, the vast majority of people at networking events are not actually networking enthusiasts but rather are there because it’s a necessary part of career building. There’s a good chance that most of the people in the room will be as nervous as you are. We are all just people, trying to come together in a meaningful way.
There’s learning in every experience, even if that learning is that nursing a glass of white wine at a cocktail event is a poor choice because house white becomes unappealing when warm. It’s up to you to decide what you want to take from networking, and like so many things, you get what you give.
Katherine and Sarah are co-authors of the recently-released “From the Ground Up: Prospect Research for Nonprofits.” Get your copy.
Sarah Marcotte is a librarian by profession and by choice, and has almost 20 years of experience in the nonprofit space, focusing on prospect research, prospect management, and data management. She is currently Senior Specialist, Data Steward at SickKids Foundation, and has previously held senior roles in prospect research at Weizmann Canada, Canadian Red Cross, and SickKids Foundation. sarah.e.marcotte@gmail.com
Katherine Scott is a prospect research and development professional with over a decade of experience working in philanthropy for a range of organizations including MSF Canada (Doctors without Borders), Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation, Canadian Red Cross and Toronto Metropolitan University. kathmscott@gmail.com
