Fundraisers need environments where they can do their best work, and where they feel supported, trusted and set up to succeed
Throughout my career, I’ve been fortunate to have exceptional managers; leaders who supported, challenged, and shaped the professional I am today.
I’ve also experienced the kind that make you quietly update your résumé…. during lunch.
And if we are honest, this is not rare.
In fundraising, we spend a lot of time talking about donor retention. We track it, measure it, and build strategies around it. We hold meetings about it, then follow-up meetings about those meetings.
But fundraiser retention?
That conversation tends to get quiet.
Because if we said the real reason people leave out loud, it might get uncomfortable.
People do not leave fundraising.
People leave management.
Yes, there are exceptions. But ask around and you will hear familiar patterns:
“I did not feel supported.”
“Everything kept changing.”
“I was constantly second-guessing myself.”
Or the classic, “It just wasn’t the right fit,” which can mean anything from “I am exhausted,” to “I need to go before I lose my mind.”
When “support” is not support
Fundraisers are told to build relationships, think long-term, and be strategic.
At the same time, we are asked for updates, projections, explanations, and occasionally miracles—sometimes all in the same week.
It can feel like: “Take your time building this relationship, but can we close something by Friday?”
There is a difference between support and scrutiny.
One builds confidence.
The other makes you rehearse your updates before every meeting.
The leadership patterns we recognize instantly
Most managers do not set out to make the work harder, but certain patterns appear often enough that they are hard to ignore.
- There is the manager who presents your work as their own; the donor relationship you built and the strategy you shaped are shared confidently, with your name absent. Nothing erodes trust faster than invisible effort.
- There is the manager who needs to approve everything until even experienced fundraisers feel like they just joined the team. We call it support. It often feels like control.
- Then there is the ever-moving target. Priorities shift constantly, and just as you gain momentum, the direction changes.
You are not underperforming. You are trying to hit a goal that will not stay still.
Some leaders avoid conflict, choosing side conversations over direct ones, allowing tension to build until it spills over.
Others correct in public, question decisions in meetings and add just enough doubt to follow you back to your desk.
That is not feedback. That is erosion.
Then there are expectations that never turn off. Messages at all hours. Everything urgent. A subtle belief that commitment means constant availability.
That is not sustainable.
Some behaviours are harder to name but easy to feel. Guilt-driven language. Shifting responsibility. Confidence slowly eroded over time.
And sometimes, absence says it all. No guidance. No feedback. Silence until something goes wrong.
Add to that a results-only mindset, where numbers matter but the relationships behind them are overlooked, and something is clearly off.
There are other moments that go beyond leadership style: comments that cross boundaries, favouritism that creates discomfort, behaviour appears that does not belong in any workplace.
That is not challenging leadership.
That is something else entirely.
Not all difficult managers are harmful.
But some behaviours cross the line from challenging to diminishing.
And that distinction matters.
The emotional cost no one budgets for
Fundraising is emotional work.
It involves vulnerability, rejection, and navigating complex human relationships while still trying to meet targets.
That is already a lot.
But in an environment where you do not feel supported, clear, or trusted, the weight increases.
Energy drops.
Confidence wavers.
And slowly, the thought creeps in: “Maybe it is not me. Maybe it is this.”
And yes, donors feel it
When fundraisers are stretched thin, unclear on direction, or constantly resetting, it shows up in the donor experience.
Follow-ups are delayed.
Conversations lose depth.
Relationships feel transactional instead of intentional.
We talk a lot about donor-centred fundraising.
But the internal experience drives the external one. Every time.
What good leadership actually looks like
It is not perfection.
It is clarity.
It is consistency.
It is trust.
It is a manager who says: “I have got your back. Go build this properly.”
Not: “Just checking in again…” when nothing has changed.
It is someone who understands that fundraising takes time and does not panic when a gift does not close on schedule.
Because great fundraising is not built on pressure.
It is built on trust.
Pressure does not build pipeline.
People do.
Final thought
Fundraisers are not afraid of hard work.
We are not afraid of goals, stretch targets, or even uncomfortable asks.
But we need environments where we can do our best work, where we feel supported, trusted, and set up to succeed.
Because when that happens, fundraisers stay.
They grow.
They build deeper relationships.
And yes, they raise more.
So, if we are serious about retention and performance, we may need to look more closely, not just at our donors, but at how we lead the people who engage them.
People do not leave fundraising.
They often leave management.
We just do not always say it out loud.
