As a professional fundraiser for more than twenty-five years, I have had experience working with many prospective donors and not all of whom agreed with my plans. Let me share a few tips on how you can turn the conversation from a “No” to a “Yes”.
Over the years, I have shared my perspectives on our sector: its trends, its challenges, and its opportunities. One of my mentees once asked, “How can I apply these ideas in my everyday work?” What follows is a tip I gave her.
If you have ever made a major gift appeal, you know that fundraising is about relationships, not transactions. Here are three lessons I have learned when a prospect expresses hesitation or declines to support your project.
1. Do your research
Before making the major gift appeal, understand the prospect’s linkage to your organization, mission, or project, and their ability to give and their philanthropic interests. This is known as the LAI prospect identification process.
Then, despite all your preparation, the prospect says, “I’m not interested”.
Whenever this happened to me, I immediately abandoned my script. All the carefully prepared facts, data, and talking points became obsolete. Instead, I learned to pivot the conversation. Look for something in the room that genuinely interests the prospect. During one visit, I noticed a photograph of the prospect’s son in a baseball uniform. Rather than continuing my case for higher education, I asked about baseball.
“I see you’re interested in baseball. Is this your son? Where does he play?”
The conversation instantly became more relaxed.
2. Take control of the conversation
Find common ground. My prospect shared that he was involved with Special Olympics because his son played baseball in these Olympics. Great. I had a personal connection. Then, I shared with him “…my cousin is also a Special Olympics athlete. She’s a short-distance runner”.
Suddenly, we had something meaningful in common to discuss beyond my fundraising proposal. This is known as the discovery call.
3. Shift into active listening
Once common ground is established, turn to active listening. Meaning listen with curiosity. My goal was no longer to make the case for my project but to understand the donor’s passions. This is when you ask mindful questions. I asked what inspired his son to join the Special Olympics, why the organization meant so much to him, and whether he volunteered. As he spoke, his enthusiasm grew. I learned that the Special Olympics had given his son confidence, which eventually helped him earn a scholarship for school.
Voila! That was the connection I needed. His passion for scholarships aligned naturally with my higher education appeal for scholarship support.
4. Now the final step is not to ask
I completed the meeting by strengthening the relationship and agreeing on a next step. In my case, I thanked him for sharing his story and asked whether he would be interested in reviewing information about the scholarships we offered at my organization before we met again. He agreed. This is known as cultivation.
I have learned that for successful major gift fundraising, a donor’s passion needs to match with an organization’s priorities. A “no” should never be the end of the conversation. More often, it is the beginning of a stronger relationship built on authenticity, trust, and thoughtful follow-through.
Kathleen A. Provost is currently the Vice President of Philanthropy and Communications at United for Literacy (formerly Frontier College), a national organization that partners with communities across Canada to offer free tutoring and mentoring to adults, youth, and children seeking literacy and numeracy support. Kathleen has over 30 years of experience in the charitable sector, has been a Certified Fundraising Executive (CFRE) since 2007, and was recognized as the 2021 Fundraiser of the Year in Nova Scotia. Kathleen holds a Master’s degree in Adult Education from St. Francis Xavier University, a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science, and a certificate in Public Relations from McGill University. As a recognized leader, Kathleen has delivered presentations tailored for both French and English audiences and has received numerous honors throughout her career, including the 2012 Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal for her contributions to the charitable sector. kprovost@unitedforliteracy.ca
