Mimosa Kabir Ketley

Mimosa Kabir Ketley

  • Articles: 0

Unmasking Success: Cultivating Confidence by Conquering Imposter Syndrome Pt 3

Part Three: Cultivating Confidence

Part one of this series delved into the science of imposter syndrome. Part two explored actions that can be taken to rewire our brains and cultivate more confidence in ourselves. Now let's consider how you can help your team feel more confident.

Being a leader comes with significant responsibility. Through your actions and communication, you create an environment that either exacerbates feelings of inadequacy or helps your team confidently grow. Being intentional about developing a stronger sense of belonging for everyone can result in increased staff loyalty and higher impact.

By recognizing the signs of imposter syndrome and incorporating some of the following practical strategies, you can help team members feel valued, competent, and secure in their roles.

Celebrate diverse contributions and perspectives: Recognize and value the unique backgrounds and viewpoints of each team member to maximize feelings of inclusion and belonging. Actively ensure all team members feel their contributions are valuable and appreciated, which might include providing private opportunities for input for the introverts on your team or making sure there are ways for everyone to meaningfully contribute.

Offer regular, specific feedback: Ensure feedback is specific, actionable, and timely, especially with respect to progress and contributions. Championing your staff can be quick and casual but also deeply meaningful. "Hey, Kelly, I appreciate that you challenged us to stop and think in today's meeting. We need more of that. Thank you." This can go a long way to counteract any distorted self-assessment your staff might impose on themselves—especially if they took a social risk.

Cultivate a failure tolerant and learning culture: Failure sucks. As a leader, you set the tone. Offering a curious and learning perspective can make it okay for your team to confidently take more calculated risks. We can learn more from failure than we do from success.

Provide opportunities for leadership and new responsibilities: Empower team members by offering them the chance to lead projects or take on new responsibilities. Provide tangible evidence of their capabilities and demonstrate the trust you (as leader) have in them. Sharing why you believe in them can be a powerful antidote to imposter syndrome.

Have honest conversations: Openly discussing your experience with imposter syndrome or self-doubt can significantly impact your team's ability to deal with their own insecurities. Demonstrating how you've overcome those feelings or how you currently manage them can provide practical strategies and hope.

Don't just mentor, sponsor: While mentors provide guidance, advice and feedback, "sponsoring" takes mentoring a step further. Champion your colleagues. Amplify their voice, connecting them with leaders and advocating for them when needed.
Frame goals and development in objective terms: Poor goalsetting lays the groundwork for bias across the performance management cycle. Goals with vague metrics make it more challenging to impartially assess performance, so ensure there is a relatively consistent level of challenge across the board.

In conclusion

Imposter syndrome is more than just an individual private struggle; it's a pervasive issue that can undermine the entire team's potential, dilute confidence, and foster unnecessary doubt. As a leader, you hold the power to change this narrative. You can transform your team by replacing self-doubt with self-assurance and turn fear of exposure into a celebration of growth and learning.

By embracing these strategies, you can expect to see profound changes within your team. Not only will you witness increased engagement and productivity, you will also create an environment where innovation thrives, and team members feel genuinely valued and understood. The act of crushing imposter syndrome is not just about alleviating doubts. It's about unlocking the full potential of your team.

Let this article serve as a call to action for leaders to pave the way for a more confident, dynamic, and successful future. Leadership isn't just about guiding others to achieve goals; it's about inspiring them to recognize and embrace their worth.

As a charity sector leader, you have the power to guide your team on this transformative path. As a result, you will keep your staff and achieve a greater impact for your organization.

Kimberley Mackenzie, CPCC, ACC is a leadership coach working with charity executives to get transformative results for themselves and their teams. A charity executive for 22 years, Kimberley built a six-figure consultancy and held her CFRE for 17 years until she was certified by the International Coaching Federation as an Associate Certified Coach and by the Co-Active Training Institute as a Certified Co-Active Professional Coach. She is the former editor for Charity eNews, and an AFP Master Trainer and Group Facilitator. She participated on Rogare's think tank reviewing Relationship Fundraising and was a driving force in the early days of SOFII.org. Contact Kimberley at k@kimberleymackenzie.ca or follow her on Instagram @kimberleycanada.

Mimosa Kabir Ketley is a dynamic, creative fundraiser with an established track record as a strategic and results-oriented champion of the nonprofit sector. With a career background ranging from libraries to theatres, international aid to science, Mimosa brings a broad, holistic perspective to industry issues. She has extensive experience growing revenue through major gifts, individual giving, special events and sponsorship. Email Mimosa, mimosa.k@gmail.com or connect on LinkedIn, https://www.linkedin.com/in/mimosakabir/.

Unmasking Success: Cultivating Confidence by Conquering Imposter Syndrome Pt 2

Missed Part 1? Start reading here.

Nonprofit jobs are essential to society's well-being, and demand for our services has never been greater. If we aren't successful, people will die. Literally. Nonprofit professionals are often passion-driven and the stakes are high. This explosive combination means that most of us work in a pressure cooker.

A lot of people worry that they aren't doing enough, aren't knowledgeable enough, or simply aren't the right person for the job. This is exacerbated by the sector's nature where resources are limited, and success can be hard to measure. Then there is the harsh reality that our work is often misunderstood and under-resourced and we are expected to be martyrs for our cause.

Imposter syndrome can be influenced by social and cultural factors that shape the brain's perception of success and self-worth. For example, community expectations and stereotypes can lead individuals to doubt themselves even when they are highly capable. This all can culminate in a poverty mindset. By tackling feelings of inadequacy in ourselves, and our organizations, we can shift toward an abundance mindset. This change is transformative and essential. We will get into how to help our teams and organizations in part three of this series. Let's begin with things you can do now for yourself.

Change the narrative

Look at the data. What are the facts? It's quite common that when people get a promotion or new job with increased responsibilities, they may feel overwhelmed and incapable. In this scenario, think about the person who hired them. Is that person capable? Do they know what they're doing? Was your experience and accomplishments accurately represented? Yes? Then, you are perfectly qualified for the job. Data doesn't lie. It just is. Check the facts and remind yourself of all that you have accomplished and how far you have come. Make a list and pin it to the wall if you have to.

Break the silence. You are not alone. By sharing our lived experiences, we open the door for others to do the same. By admitting that many of us have feelings of inadequacy, we create a culture where it's okay to be human and build authentic, supportive and trusting relationships. This has the potential to shift the entire culture of your organization.

Create a support network. From the outside, Mimosa and I have a lot of differences. We didn't realize until we moved beyond small talk, how much in common we actually have. Our differences are our strengths and we can support each other to confidently move forward and tackle new challenges.
We can also be there for each other when we are feeling "less than." The reality is that every time you "level up" it's going to be scary. Having a colleague to lean on can offer you strength to stretch yourself.

Call on self-compassion. Talk to yourself like you would a friend. It's normal for us to look in the mirror and reinforce negative thoughts. We say things to ourselves that we would NEVER say to people we care about. You deserve better than that. Be your own biggest champion. Remember the brain is being rewired. I remember twenty-eight years ago when I was pregnant with my first child and my body was changing into something unrecognizable. I literally had to put a sign on my mirror that said "Your body is strong, capable and beautiful." That daily reminder really helped me see my pregnant body as strong, capable and beautiful. Affirmations work. What messages do you need to reframe? Perhaps a sign on your mirror or the back of your door could serve as a daily reminder until that prefrontal cortex starts doing a better job.

Write it down. The practice of journaling is invaluable for a lot of reasons. By writing our thoughts down we release them from our body. We are then able to look at them more subjectively. Only then will you be able to get a very clear idea of how off the charts that amygdala is, and take steps to reinforce more positive self-talk.

Stop comparing. We never really know what other people are thinking or going through, particularly in this era of social media where folks are posting highlight reels of their lives. Remember, you don't have all the data to make an informed analysis. Inaccurate comparisons of yourself to colleagues can take you down a negative rabbit hole of jealousy, resentment, low self-esteem, loss of motivation and unhealthy competition. You deserve better than that! By focusing on your own journey and growth you will foster more authentic supportive relationships, have higher self-esteem and contribute to a more positive culture in your organization where you celebrate each other's success. A high tide floats all boats!

Conclusion

Imposter syndrome is real, common and if not addressed can lead to a negative spiral and a poverty mindset. The neuroscience of imposter syndrome shows that it is the result of a complex interplay of brain regions and social influences. Understanding these processes can help combat imposter syndrome and cultivate more confidence, leading to an abundance mindset and ultimately a successful life at work and at home.

You have control over how to manage your feelings of incompetence and unworthiness. With a little effort and possibly external support from a mentor, friend or leadership coach, you can rewrite the narrative in your head and confidently step forward to rise to the new challenges in front of you.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?" - Marianne Williamson

In Part 3—Actionable things you can do to change the narrative and cultivate more confidence.

Kimberley Mackenzie, CPCC, ACC is a leadership coach working with charity executives to get transformative results for themselves and their teams. A charity executive for 22 years, Kimberley built a six-figure consultancy and held her CFRE for 17 years until she was certified by the International Coaching Federation as an Associate Certified Coach and by the Co-Active Training Institute as a Certified Co-Active Professional Coach. She is the former editor for Charity eNews, and an AFP Master Trainer and Group Facilitator. She participated on Rogare's think tank reviewing Relationship Fundraising and was a driving force in the early days of SOFII.org. Contact Kimberley at k@kimberleymackenzie.ca or follow her on Instagram @kimberleycanada.

Mimosa Kabir Ketley is a dynamic, creative fundraiser with an established track record as a strategic and results-oriented champion of the nonprofit sector. With a career background ranging from libraries to theatres, international aid to science, Mimosa brings a broad, holistic perspective to industry issues. She has extensive experience growing revenue through major gifts, individual giving, special events and sponsorship. Email Mimosa, mimosa.k@gmail.com or connect on LinkedIn, https://www.linkedin.com/in/mimosakabir/.

Unmasking Success: Cultivating Confidence by Conquering Imposter Syndrome, Part 1

"I have written eleven books, but each time I think, Uh oh, they're going to find out now. I've run a game on everybody, and they're
going to find me out." - Maya Angelou

Mimosa and I met over ten years ago. She was a student in the Humber College Fundraising program, I was a Director of Development for an environmental charity. Mimosa was 20 years younger than me, living in Toronto. I was married with two teenagers and living in the country.

Mimosa launched her career from the platform of academia through the Humber College Fundraising Program. I fell into my career through volunteer work, twisting the ropes as I climbed the mountain. On the surface we seemed very different.

It took ten years of polite conference conversations before Mimosa and I finally had the opportunity to move beyond small talk. Through a conversation on my podcast, we discovered that, while our lived experiences are different, we actually have a lot in common. We have both wrestled that massive beast, imposter syndrome, and we are not alone.

Mimosa and I have collaborated to offer you this series, providing concrete steps toward taming feelings of inadequacy. You have the ability to take action to safeguard your financial and physical well-being and turn this cycle around.

Let's start at the beginning.

What is imposter syndrome?

"The exaggerated esteem in which my lifework is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary
swindler." - Albert Einstein

It seems obvious. "Imposter syndrome" has almost become cliche. Is there anyone who doesn't suffer from feelings of inadequacy sometimes? Probably not.

Many of us know that imposter syndrome is a feeling that you are faking it and someone will find out. This can be especially true if you are going through a job transition or perhaps suddenly find yourself unemployed. As a rule, what the world sees on the outside is very different from how you actually feel.

Here are some other examples of how imposter syndrome can show up:

  • Worrying that people will find out you are not as smart as they think you are.
  • Comparing yourself to your peers.
  • Feeling like if you can do it, anyone can.
  • Constantly seeking out additional training.
  • Difficulty accepting compliments.
  • Talking yourself out of a promotion because you didn't think you deserved it or could do the new job.
  • Thinking you should walk away from your current career to go back to school or get a totally different kind of job.

Many of us can relate to these feelings. When I was an Executive Director, I kept dreaming about going back to waitressing. Every time I would prepare for a board meeting or budget approval, I would imagine how much easier it would be to go to work, bring people food, make tips and go home without a care. Of course, we know that is an irrational line of thinking. People who work in restaurants have stress and worry too.

Unfortunately, imposter syndrome can get out of control with the negative messages in your head manifesting the lack of success you imagine. What started as a negative thought pattern can actually become your reality. The good news is that you can change the narrative.

The neuroscience behind imposter syndrome

What is so cool about digging into this topic is the discovery that imposter syndrome is literally "in our head," and we have the power to change the narrative. That doesn't mean that you can shake it off and wish it away or that it isn't real. Your experiences are real. Your reality is your reality. What you can do is take control and create a shift. You can turn down the volume on negative thought patterns and turn up more positive messages.

Did you know that science has proven that your brain can rewire itself to think that you are less than you really are? Unless you take steps to change your thinking patterns, your brain may be working hard to keep you feeling like you should play small. The opposite is also true. Your brain can help you boost confidence.

The magic to overcoming feelings of inadequacy lies in an almond-shaped mass of gray matter inside each side of our brains. This grey matter is involved with the experiencing of emotions and is called the amygdala.

According to research, a really busy amygdala can lead to feelings of self-doubt and fear of failure. Additionally, the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision-making and self-regulation, may not work as effectively in individuals with imposter syndrome, making it harder for them to recognize their own competence and achievements.

Just like exercising different muscles in your body, you can exercise your brain so that the amygdala takes a break and the prefrontal cortex starts working a little harder.

In Part 2: How nonprofit culture can make us even more vulnerable to feelings of inadequacy.

Kimberley Mackenzie, CPCC, ACC is a leadership coach working with charity executives to get transformative results for themselves and their teams. A charity executive for 22 years, Kimberley built a six-figure consultancy and held her CFRE for 17 years until she was certified by the International Coaching Federation as an Associate Certified Coach and by the Co-Active Training Institute as a Certified Co-Active Professional Coach. She is the former editor for Charity eNews, and an AFP Master Trainer and Group Facilitator. She participated on Rogare's think tank reviewing Relationship Fundraising and was a driving force in the early days of SOFII.org. Contact Kimberley at k@kimberleymackenzie.ca or follow her on Instagram @kimberleycanada.

Mimosa Kabir Ketley is a dynamic, creative fundraiser with an established track record as a strategic and results-oriented champion of the nonprofit sector. With a career background ranging from libraries to theatres, international aid to science, Mimosa brings a broad, holistic perspective to industry issues. She has extensive experience growing revenue through major gifts, individual giving, special events and sponsorship. Email Mimosa, mimosa.k@gmail.com or connect on LinkedIn, https://www.linkedin.com/in/mimosakabir/.

Home page photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash.