“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re
going to find me out.” - Maya Angelou
Mimosa and I met over ten years ago. She was a student in the Humber College Fundraising program, I was a Director of Development for an environmental charity. Mimosa was 20 years younger than me, living in Toronto. I was married with two teenagers and living in the country.
Mimosa launched her career from the platform of academia through the Humber College Fundraising Program. I fell into my career through volunteer work, twisting the ropes as I climbed the mountain. On the surface we seemed very different.
It took ten years of polite conference conversations before Mimosa and I finally had the opportunity to move beyond small talk. Through a conversation on my podcast, we discovered that, while our lived experiences are different, we actually have a lot in common. We have both wrestled that massive beast, imposter syndrome, and we are not alone.
Mimosa and I have collaborated to offer you this series, providing concrete steps toward taming feelings of inadequacy. You have the ability to take action to safeguard your financial and physical well-being and turn this cycle around.
Let’s start at the beginning.
What is imposter syndrome?
“The exaggerated esteem in which my lifework is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary
swindler.” - Albert Einstein
It seems obvious. “Imposter syndrome” has almost become cliche. Is there anyone who doesn’t suffer from feelings of inadequacy sometimes? Probably not.
Many of us know that imposter syndrome is a feeling that you are faking it and someone will find out. This can be especially true if you are going through a job transition or perhaps suddenly find yourself unemployed. As a rule, what the world sees on the outside is very different from how you actually feel.
Here are some other examples of how imposter syndrome can show up:
Many of us can relate to these feelings. When I was an Executive Director, I kept dreaming about going back to waitressing. Every time I would prepare for a board meeting or budget approval, I would imagine how much easier it would be to go to work, bring people food, make tips and go home without a care. Of course, we know that is an irrational line of thinking. People who work in restaurants have stress and worry too.
Unfortunately, imposter syndrome can get out of control with the negative messages in your head manifesting the lack of success you imagine. What started as a negative thought pattern can actually become your reality. The good news is that you can change the narrative.
The neuroscience behind imposter syndrome
What is so cool about digging into this topic is the discovery that imposter syndrome is literally “in our head,” and we have the power to change the narrative. That doesn’t mean that you can shake it off and wish it away or that it isn’t real. Your experiences are real. Your reality is your reality. What you can do is take control and create a shift. You can turn down the volume on negative thought patterns and turn up more positive messages.
Did you know that science has proven that your brain can rewire itself to think that you are less than you really are? Unless you take steps to change your thinking patterns, your brain may be working hard to keep you feeling like you should play small. The opposite is also true. Your brain can help you boost confidence.
The magic to overcoming feelings of inadequacy lies in an almond-shaped mass of gray matter inside each side of our brains. This grey matter is involved with the experiencing of emotions and is called the amygdala.
According to research, a really busy amygdala can lead to feelings of self-doubt and fear of failure. Additionally, the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision-making and self-regulation, may not work as effectively in individuals with imposter syndrome, making it harder for them to recognize their own competence and achievements.
Just like exercising different muscles in your body, you can exercise your brain so that the amygdala takes a break and the prefrontal cortex starts working a little harder.
In Part 2: How nonprofit culture can make us even more vulnerable to feelings of inadequacy.
Kimberley Mackenzie, CPCC, ACC is a leadership coach working with charity executives to get transformative results for themselves and their teams. A charity executive for 22 years, Kimberley built a six-figure consultancy and held her CFRE for 17 years until she was certified by the International Coaching Federation as an Associate Certified Coach and by the Co-Active Training Institute as a Certified Co-Active Professional Coach. She is the former editor for Charity eNews, and an AFP Master Trainer and Group Facilitator. She participated on Rogare’s think tank reviewing Relationship Fundraising and was a driving force in the early days of SOFII.org. Contact Kimberley at k@kimberleymackenzie.ca or follow her on Instagram @kimberleycanada.
Mimosa Kabir Ketley is a dynamic, creative fundraiser with an established track record as a strategic and results-oriented champion of the nonprofit sector. With a career background ranging from libraries to theatres, international aid to science, Mimosa brings a broad, holistic perspective to industry issues. She has extensive experience growing revenue through major gifts, individual giving, special events and sponsorship. Email Mimosa, mimosa.k@gmail.com or connect on LinkedIn, https://www.linkedin.com/in/mimosakabir/.
Home page photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash.
