Have you ever heard “Don’t spend your valuable time on in memoriam donations. Those people are dead. You can’t get anything from them. They are dead. D.E.A.D. Dead!"?

Perhaps, you’ve been similarly remonstrated by a boss or fundraising colleague. This article challenges this opinion and sets out practical advice on how to become more effective at managing in memoriam donations.

Why should time be spent on in memoriam donations?

• Canada is facing a greying tsunami. The Chief Public Health Officer indicates in his Report on the State of Public Health in Canada, 2014: Public Health in the Future that people 65 years old are over-represented Canada's fastest growing age group. It concludes that this trend is expected to continue for decades.

The implication of this trend is that as our population ages more and more Canadians will be re-examining their financial needs and updating their wills. Respecting and serving their needs and acknowledging their increasingly diversified families will be the key to in memoriam donation (and legacy giving) management success.  Fundraisers must be ready and know how to manage in memoriam donations well, if they wish to succeed.

• Because it matters to our in memoriam donors. Many family designated in-memory representatives want to maintain a link with their chosen charity.  To them, a donation to their chosen charity is a link to the deceased person they loved. Stewarding these donors over the long run has the potential to lead to other gifts.

• Because in memoriam giving is a good entry point for one to start learning about legacy giving. For those working for a small charity, who have no expertise in legacy giving, one can develop a sense of comfort through management of in memoriam donations. By managing such donations, one can acquire the skills, knowledge and tools that will prove vital when stewarding donors for legacy giving. Many aging Canadians agree with the wise Pericles, a prominent and influential Greek statesman, orator and general of Athens, who said: “What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.”

• Because they are a basic, simple entry point for your in memoriam donor family and their network that can lead to significant memorial giving Tribute/in Memoriam Funds. If the family decides to proceed with the Tribute/In Memoriam Fund, it is advisable that an official partnership be established. Such a partnership articulates the wishes of the donor(s) and of the charity and is formalized in a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) that can be legally binding. (It all depends on the intent of the parties.) An MOU outlines the terms and details of an understanding, between two or more parties, including each parties' requirements and responsibilities. Fundraisers are advised to seek legal advice to develop a template of a Tribute/In Memoriam Fund Memorandum of Understanding. Once a template is developed, subsequent agreements can be tailor-made for any new cases.

• Because in memoriam donors have the potential to become a strong part of your whole support donor base. They can become your major donors, volunteers, special event guests, testimonial providers, sponsors etc.   With appropriate long-term stewardship and integration within various fundraising departments, such as your charitable legacy, special event, volunteer and other departments can maximize the impact of in memoriam donors.

“In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes” - Benjamin Franklin

So, how does one get better at managing in memoriam donations?

Examine and Enhance Your In Memoriam Tools Here are some tools that you should examine and enhance if necessary:

1. Your in memoriam web pages.

I understand that small charities might be restrained by the lack of infrastructure funds necessary to enhance these pages. Get the buy in from your board, your CEO and technical staff first. Drive the point across that enhanced tools will lower administrative time, strengthen your donor data, allow donors more efficient and effective donation making and more beautiful ways to remember their loved one, and finally allow you to raise more funds. Draft your content by visiting web sites of other charities but ultimately make it your own. Make sure that your web pages are functional, that the text flows, and that it exudes compassion. Never use the phrase ‘in lieu of flowers’. Flowers have the power to heal and this is what your grieving families need. Always, make sure that the text is aligned with your mission. Make it clear that the charity has the right to edit inappropriate content.

Your in memoriam web pages will allow your donors to post videos, photos, messages about their loved one, while donating.

2. Enhance your in memoriam donation forms, in memoriam cards (those for the family of the deceased and other in memoriam donors), funeral home cards.

Ask other fundraisers and funeral homes for samples. Work collaboratively with relevant and appropriate stakeholders and see what works for you.

3. Establish a relationship with different funeral homes and community cultural and religious groups to learn about their ways of remembering and honouring loved ones. The more you know, the likelihood of your stewardship strategy being aligned with a donor’s values is greater.

4. Learn more about grieving and appropriate condolence messages. Buy books and read on line about grieving and condolence messages appropriate for your charity. Go to stores that sell in memoriam cards and buy the ones you like. Store the messages for the times you will need them. Many in memoriam donors do not know what to say to the grieving family. If you have your list of condolence options ready, you can provide them with suggestions when they call over the phone.

5. Get the training you need. For those of you managing a lot of in memoriam donations related to suicides I strongly urge you to take Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST), which is a standard training experience for suicide prevention. This will help you in understanding the deceased and their families.

6. Visit graveyards and cemeteries. Call me unusual, but whenever I go on vacation, I visit either a graveyard or a cemetery. I love how peaceful they are. To the old Greeks cemeteries were resting, sleeping places for the dead before they went to the next world. So I rest, too. I walk, read the inscribed words on headstones, sit on the benches, imagine the lives of the deceased around me and meditate on the meaning of life. Try it, go to a graveyard or a cemetery and reflect, think about what matters in your life and our fundraising practice. Especially for those of you who process a lot of in memoriam donations and need a mental break every couple of hours. You will see how you come back to your office, ‘pumped up’ with a renewed spirit and knowledge of what really matters.

A graveyard/cemetery is a great equalizer: whether you were male or female, rich or poor, tall or short, interesting or boring, a Liberal, New Democrat or a Conservative, an opera singer or a computer whiz, when you are there, it does not matter. My point is this, all the deceased we serve deserve our compassion and very best management of any donation given in their name, without regard to any difference.

Branka Gudelj, CFRE has completed national research on in memoriam donations. To her, the love we express for our deceased is evidence of our common nature of compassion, religion, and humanity.