Earlier in my career I worked for one of Canada’s largest “Direct Dialogue” fundraising agencies as a telephone fundraiser. It was a unique entryway into the fundraising industry; I must have spoken with thousands of potential monthly donors over the years I worked there for charities of every shape and size.

One such experience proved to be relatively noteworthy.

While speaking to a potential donor about the work of an international medical relief organization that was treating those affected by the Syrian civil war, they introduced some interesting concerns. The potential donor was apprehensive to support any medical organization that was not explicitly “anti-abortion”, and went on to express anxiety they might be “helping Muslim terrorists”.

At first I was shocked, and admittedly a little disappointed. I also considered taking it as a clear sign of futility, thanking the potential donor and ending the conversion – but lucky for me I was far too young and idealistic to back down. 

As I started to prepare a response, I realized the next words that were about to come out of my mouth were “I understand your concerns.” I had always been taught to preface every response to a concern with that statement – it’s a way to put yourself on equal footing with a donor.

Yet here I was, speaking to someone who was more concerned about a medical relief organization’s stance on abortion than the fact that they were saving innocent lives in a war zone.

How was I supposed to tell them I understood this concern?

This was the first time I was introduced to the core lesson that Kate Hodgson of 9 to 5 Narrative and Ryan Fraser of Quiet Legacy so masterfully taught in their session, Crafting the Perfect Ask – Storytelling Techniques & Motivation Psychology.

It was powerful to learn from a master of storytelling and an expert in both the tax and structure of gift planning. Here are some of the lessons they shared on turning narrative into numbers, a key skill needed for fundraising success in 2016.

The foundation of building a donor-centric mindset is being observant and understanding of other peoples’ perspectives. The key is to recognize what influences and drives someone is the fuel fundraisers use to build strong relationships with our donors. And understanding the ins and outs of your organization, its mission and its needs is only half the job. We also need to able to communicate all of that effectively to different types of people with different backgrounds and experiences.

Kate and Ryan’s stress the exploration of different social styles and motivators for giving and the importance of then crafting an intentionally compelling stories ( not the usual granular “ask” )  that speak to an individual’s perspective and beliefs.

It might seem simple, but for many fundraisers the theories explained in Kate and Ryan’s training session would sound extraneous. Be honest: Would you have continued to talk with that potential donor I had on the phone earlier?

That day, as I sat on the phone considering what to say next, it dawned on me - telling this potential donor that I understood them, before telling them their views and perspectives were wrong would have been untruthful, disrespectful and a fool’s errand.

I needed to first understand why these concerns existed before addressing them.

Which is why instead of saying what I had said a thousand times before, I asked them where their concerns and anxieties came from.

What I would eventually learn was that this was a passionate, intelligent, and empathetic person – who admittedly also held some problematic views regarding reproductive health and a religion that was not theirs nor did they understand. But I also learned about their faith, and their desire to support an organization that reflected their own religious values.

Most importantly I didn’t learn a single reason why this person should or would not want to support the work of the organization I was working with. But I definitely needed to re-frame how I was communicating that to them.

I did that, and as far as I know this person is still a committed monthly donor to this organization.

A big thanks to Ryan and Kate for their insightful training as part of their work with 9 to 5 Narrative and Quiet Legacy. They truly summarized critical lessons that took me years to learn, and packaged them in a single day training, while also delivering the useful tools necessary to apply it in a busy fundraising office. I highly recommend looking them up and delving deeper into the topic of empathetically connecting with your donors!

Cameron Becker is a fundraiser at War Child Canada and is a former fundraising and management consultant. With nearly a decade of fundraising and management experience Cameron is also a widely published writer on international affairs and humanitarian development.  Find him on LinkedIn or Twitter at @CameronHBecker