Have you noticed that when your thoughts are swirling around, you're often stuck reliving a memory that didn't feel so good or rehearsing a tragedy in the future? Neither feels good.
OMG, that meeting was awful! I can't believe they said that!
UGH! I don't know how I'm going to handle that call!
Your thought process can provide learning opportunities
Our thoughts don't always need to spiral us into a downward tailspin. When we slow our thinking down, pause, and add an element of mindfulness to our thought process, our thinking can become a learning tool. Following the learning component, we may change our mindset, behaviour or perspectives on what happened or is coming up.
Sometimes, when we slow our thinking down, we become more strategic. Other times, our more conscious thoughts help us plan or make a decision. Today, I want to focus on reflective thinking.
First, let's look at different kinds of thinking and roughly categorize them as unconscious (swirling thoughts) and conscious thinking.
Unconscious thinking
Worry, anxiety and regret - Full of judgment, blame and shame statements; often polarized or absolute thoughts.
Conscious thinking
We often miss the reflective thinking piece that so often would be wise to do before the other kinds of conscious thinking.
Reflective thinking as a practice
In our sector, practitioners are often taught the skill of reflective practice. The idea behind turning reflective thinking into a practice is specifically for learning opportunities. Experience alone doesn't always teach us what we need to know.
Developing a practice of reflecting on what happened helps us create meaning from an experience. This new meaning allows us to deepen the learning of an experience and helps us to consider perhaps what we'd like to do differently in the future.
How to be a good reflective thinker
Reflective thinking begins with a question instead of a statement.
Most of the questions we ask ourselves during our reflective thinking time are “what” questions—a “why” question often evokes defensiveness. But instead, what questions help us be more curious and ditch the judgment.
The ultimate goal of reflective thinking is to learn from your leadership experiences. You are considering three main points.
10 Reflective thinking questions to prompt learning
To help you deepen your learning after an experience, take a few moments to journal your answers to the following questions:
1) What happened?
2) What body sensations did I experience?
3) What thoughts were going around my head?
4) What emotions did I feel as it was happening?
5) Which of my values were triggered during this exchange?
6) What perspective was the other person(s) in?
7) What did I do well in managing the situation?
8) How would my “best self” handle a similar situation in the future?
9) What strengths do I need to put to work more often?
10) What will I do differently next time?
When you take time to pause, when you slow down your thinking and reflect, you'll learn more. That learning will provide insights into how to change your mindset, behaviours or intent, thus leading more authentically and effectively.
Leadership Development Coach Kathy Archer helps women develop confidence, maintain their composure and lead with integrity! She is the author of Mastering Confidence and the “Surviving to Thriving” podcast host. Kathy blogs for women leading in nonprofits at www.kathyarcher.com/blog
Homepage photo by Jacki Drexler on Unsplash.
