Malcolm Gladwell and I are in a feud that only one of us knows about. I find some of his “hot takes,” pretty cold. And yet, I’ve listened to every one of his podcast episodes and read most of his books. Why? Because he forces a pause in my day, providing the interruption I need to focus on becoming a better leader and employee.
In one of the recent episodes of his podcast, Revisionist History, he presented an argument that literally stopped me in my tracks (I was walking and listening.) Not only did I agree with his point—it has been revelatory for me. In this episode, he discusses what happened the day George Floyd died and the argument he makes is: first, that people don’t change their mind very easily (or ever) and second, the hierarchical structures we work within lead to less collaboration and less conversation and ultimately, worse outcomes.
Before I explain further, I want you to pause and consider: When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
This is not about whether you will have soup or a sandwich for lunch.
Consider it in reference to something you undertake with a “set approach”. The example that Bill Nye (who has a similar argument in his book Everything All At Once) uses is tying your shoes. I’m willing to bet that most folks don’t actually THINK about tying their shoes. They let muscle memory kick in and the shoes are tied. I challenge you to try tying your shoes in a totally different way today. See what this does to your brain and how you approach it? A handy video can be found here.
Muscle memory is the equivalent of a computer running a program in the background—you don’t see it happening, but you get the result that you want. These “scripts”, while beneficial for time-saving, can lead to a fixation on how things are “best done”. Humans are wired to look for patterns. Our brains developed knowing that when they saw a bear they should run. As we have evolved into this modern world, these same patterns, as applied in the workplace for example, are much less useful. In fact, they can become fixations of a sort, with predetermined outcomes.
When we have had several bad interactions with Bob from IT, we start to assume the worst from Bob. We run the script that he’s incompetent and we won’t engage with him in a meaningful way. The research behind this identifies this as hostile intent attribution and it immediately pulls us from our best selves and our values, trapping us in the emotional flashback of the rage we felt the last time we dealt with Bob. The interaction was doomed from the start.
Furthermore, you typically won’t go to Bob’s boss because you know that people have tried this before, and that Bob’s boss is going to run their script of making suggestions on how you can adjust your approach with Bob rather than actively listening. In the end, the outcome is less good/positive/productive then it could have been if—along the way—the “interrupt” of the fixation had been given space and consideration.
While we cannot do this with every interaction or every person, as there is work that needs to be completed and deadlines to meet, there is a practice to it. Active listening, pausing and using the beginners’ mind is a learned behavior and it’s also contagious. When one person gives themselves the “permission” to ask questions or to slow down a conversation with a “Cage Rattling Question” as Simone Joyaux used to say, that gives the same “permission” to those around you.
Leadership isn’t knowing all the answers or even knowing how to get to the answers. Leadership is about asking the right questions, pausing to understand implications and assuming nothing to look to achieve the best outcome.
So reader, I challenging you – what will you change your mind about today? Reach out—I’d love to hear from you.
Laura Champion is the Senior Director, Fund Development at Lumenus Foundation. She is the Founder of the AFP Speaker Discovery Series, was Chair of AFP GTA Congress in 2020, and has spoken all over the globe. She has a deep love for fundraising, learning and her one-eyed wiener dog, Mortadella.
