I grew up in an era where I was taught to offer my seat to an elderly or disabled person when riding the subway or bus. Also, doors were held for the next person—be it a woman or a man—and manners dictated to always let the woman enter first.
In my younger years, these and other simple courtesies were common. This included returning calls in a timely manner, respecting elders, and being polite. Courtesy is defined as “excellence of manners, respectful and considerate acts, polite behavior, social conduct, and expressions of consideration.” I don’t see a lot of this anymore. The first thought or reaction typically is, “That younger generation… millennials and Gen Z have no understanding of professional or common courtesy.”
But I think it goes beyond that.
I see a lack of courtesy in those both older and younger than that group, and even in my own generation. True, the world has changed. With it, common practices have changed also. We no longer tip our paper boy each week when he comes to collect the weekly subscription fee—because we now have to pay that fee in advance. We pay online and typically never meet the 50+-year-old who delivers the paper in the morning—if we get a hard copy at all.
We are bombarded by many more messages today (social media, DMs, email, text, and phone) than we were thirty years ago when we just had phone calls to return. That makes a difference in common courtesy practices, as does the onslaught of new technology. And, to my generation, understand that, as new technology emerges, our traditional practices of common courtesy may not apply any longer. In a new world, there are also new tenets of common and professional courtesy.
Nevertheless, I think there are still some basics that we would all do well to remember and practice. Here are some key areas where I see us failing, which we need to embrace once again and practice more diligently in a world of professional common courtesy.
Punctuality. Whether the occasion is a phone call, virtual meeting, face-to-face meeting, or report due date. You just don’t arrive late. It’s that simple. And if you are going to be late for a call, meeting, or deliverable like a report or proposal, let the recipient/organizer know in advance.
Acknowledge information/communication. If someone leaves you a voice mail, sends you an email or text or tag on social or DM, respond in a timely manner. That is typically 24 hours. Get back and say, “Thank you for the information,” or “I will get the info you need, but it will be a week or so before I can get to it.”
Confidential material is confidential. Today, we are covering our butts with NDAs, but if one is not in place, you know well enough what is confidential and what is in the public domain. Don’t cross that line. No one should have to ask you to keep something confidential.
During meetings or presentations, pay attention. Put your phone down and pay attention. Look people in the eye and be respectful of their time. For sure, use your phone to access information during a meeting or discussion, but listen and participate. You should not be multitasking.
Say “thank you.”
When there is an absence of courtesy, our business relationships fall apart. I feel that courtesy should be recognized, not flaunted. I like Margaret Thatcher’s comment to a room of women at a conference. She said, “Being powerful is like being a lady; if you have to tell people you are, you aren’t!” The same goes for being courteous.
I look forward to your thoughts if you feel I have missed something important, or if I am being an old timer and expecting things that will never happen!
Brent Barootes has spent almost 35 years in the sponsorship marketing industry, developing and delivering profitable sponsorship programs that result in returns on investment for non-profits, charities and other properties and rights holder as well as sponsors. As President and CEO of the Partnership Group – Sponsorship Specialists® he leads a dedicated team of professionals delivering measurable results for their clients.
