Mastering your confidence is a transformational journey. You will realize that, in many ways, there is no endpoint to your trip. You won't "get confidence" one day and be done. Instead, you will continually strive to find this place. Of course, just when you think you’ve successful built your confidence skills, something happens and you lose balance—feeling unsure again. As you go along, you'll discover an inner process, to keep you growing as you move forward—bouncing back each time you get knocked down.
What makes a world of difference is when you teach others what you know. Teaching others helps you grow even more, and your confidence builds exponentially.
Step # 1 - AWARENESS
Step one is to be aware that you need to build confidence in a particular area of your leadership. Without awareness, you keep settling, putting up with feeling uncomfortable. Increased awareness of the areas you need to grow confidence in starts you on the journey. Ask this:
Where do I doubt myself, hesitate or feel anxious in my leadership capacity?
If I felt increased confidence in that area?
How would I behave differently?
How would I feel differently?
What would be different about how I experience leadership?
Answering these questions gives you increased awareness.
Step # 2 – PAUSE AND PONDER
The second step to increasing your confidence is to pause and become self-reflective because confidence is not about what other people think you can do. It's what you believe you are capable of.
Examine your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, values, and perspectives to shift your confidence. This step seeks to change what you're thinking and experiencing inside, so that your behaviours change outside of you.
Pausing is a critical step because it starts the process of examining your thoughts. Ask this:
What do I believe about my capacity, competence and confidence levels?
What would I have to learn to feel more competent?
What would I have to think about myself to feel increased competence?
What beliefs will help me shift my confidence levels?
Answering these questions will help you feel more competent, capable and able to lead with confidence.
Step # 3 – BUILD A SUPPORT TEAM
The final step is to create a support network. You are not the only one who has struggled or is struggling with your leadership. Connecting with others who may be a few steps ahead of where you are, can be incredibly helpful in navigating the journey.
When you connect with others, you can share a human experience with many striking similarities and learn from each other. Do this:
Find a place where you can connect with other women in similar places as you.
Find a coach, mentor or support person to help you. This person could be "in person" or connect with an author or guru you follow online where, for example, you read their book and follow their podcast.
When you create your support team, you will find confidence-building becomes easier.
BONUS – TEACH WHAT YOU LEARN
I experienced a lack of confidence in my leadership multiple times in my career. As I learned and grew, I taught others. First, it was my team leads and my program managers. Now it is my students and coaching clients. As I teach confidence, I learn more about it, become more confident in new areas and expand my comfort zone. Ask this:
Whom do I know that needs to build confidence?
What can I teach them to help them increase their confidence?
When will I do that?
Finding the answers to these questions, will enable you to help someone else build their confidence, while mastering your own!
Kathy Archer is the author of Mastering Confidence. As a Leadership Development Coach she provides ongoing training to grow women leaders in Canada's Nonprofit Organizations. Kathy's membership site, The Training Library, offers affordable, relevant, and practical monthly content to keep leaders engaged and excited, expanding their leadership capacity and deepening their personal growth.
