I was met at the door by a ginormous, drooling, furry old dog. The retired couple I was visiting live along the beautiful coast of Nova Scotia overlooking the ocean in a modest, winterized cottage chock-full of their lifelong belongings - and their dog. Lovely couple, lovely dog (once he’s finished barking at you on the doorstep and sniffing you into the house). After some major apprehension on my part, (the dog really was big and very smelly) I was invited in for tea - along with the furry friend who lay lovingly at my feet, daintily slobbering onto my legs.
I learned a great deal about this couple in the hour I spent with them. They have both been patients at our hospital. He was a cancer patient, which involved surgery and receiving radiation treatment. She had a bone fracture that required specialized attention. They are extremely grateful patients and could not say enough about the doctors, nurses and staff who treated them. They are so happy that they have survived so much together. Part of that happiness is expressed through the mister, who is an artist and a retired professor of fine arts.
After admiring his paintings within the home, (including vases of flowers and fruit in a bowl) I was invited to view the studio, which is in a barn on the property. As we entered the barn, I was confronted with stacks of paintings in various degrees of completion. I was astounded at the depth of his creativity. Some of the paintings were years in the making, some just freshly done. He tells me there is much more up in the loft where the actual studio is and he begins to climb the ladder. The barn is old. The ladder is slim, rickety and steep, with no railing. I am wearing a skirt and sandals. I realize this is one of those moments where the "work hat" gets removed and I just have to go with it. This man wants to show me something special. As I struggled to exit the last rung of the ladder with as much dignity as I could muster, I was met by a spectacular view. The bright sun was reflecting off the deep azure of the ocean flooding the room and highlighting hundreds of paintings of nude women in various forms of repose, all staring directly at me. I was speechless.
Sensing my mild discomfort he hastened to explain that there is a captive market in the United States, with much of his work sold in galleries there. An 80-year-old cancer survivor – still creating and selling his art. How cool is that?!
Meaningful conversations
I don’t know if this couple is considering a bequest. I will work on that conversation during future visits. For now, I am content to have earned their trust, allowing me to see a part of their life that I would never have known about had I judged their capacity or interest based on their annual gift.
I have been a fundraiser for 13 years although I am fairly new to gift planning. Over that time I have met many people from all walks of life. I love meeting people and learning about their life stories. Everyone has a story and each story is different and fascinating. I enjoy connecting donor’s stories to my own stories about the hospital which I fundraise for. That’s what relationship building is all about.
Many times I have come away from a visit with a donor in awe and completely humbled by the amount of trust and confidence they have in me. Over and over, they share personal details about their lives. Why do they tell me? I suspect it is because they care so profoundly about the organization I represent. I consider my conversations and my relationship with each donor a huge responsibility.
As a fundraiser I know that giving to an organization is often a very emotional decision. I also know that in continuing to nurture the relationship I have an opportunity to maintain their loyalty, hopefully to a lasting relationship that culminates and remains as a gift in their Will. I’ve learned so much about myself through my visits with donors. I’ve learned to loosen up in my conversations, to "go with the flow," and to expect the unexpected. I’ve realized that the best relationship building occurs when you have the opportunity to get to know people in their home environment. The conversation is often more comfortable and relaxed. In the donor’s home it is easier to connect meaningfully; to share experiences and especially to relate to the donor about the impact their gifts have to your organization. Through these conversations I attempt to inspire the donor to ask "how can I help more?"
Not only have I acquired a few new coping skills, I’ve also practiced maintaining my professional composure in awkward circumstances. I’ve sat in stifling hot apartments trying not to pass out, eaten food I didn’t need, sipped horrible tea and dealt happily with many ill-mannered dogs – even the ones who jump on my car or up my skirt leaving bloody scratches as a result! All for the love of people and the belief that we really can have better, top of the line health care with the help of our loyal supporters.
It may not be possible to see everyone on my donor list but the effort to get to know them either in person or by phone is well worth the time and so very rewarding. I am compelled and excited to leave the comfort zone of my desk and get out into the world to meet and thank as many donors as often as I can!
Katharine Berrington is a Charitable Giving Advisor with the QEII Health Sciences Centre Foundation in Halifax, a position she has held for two of the past 13 years in fundraising. She is currently a board member of the CAGP Nova Scotia Chapter. Contact Katharine, katharine.berrington@qe2foundation.ca
