It happens to a lot of people. Sunday is ruined because of dread, angst and anxiety about going back to work on Monday. If you are experiencing the Sunday Scaries it might help to know that you are not alone.
Our sector is experiencing a human resource crisis like we’ve never seen. Over half of fundraisers are currently planning to leave their jobs and staff turnover is at an all-time high. This is expensive, disruptive and wasteful. We must take action.
“A rapidly intensifying human resource crisis in nonprofits, compounded by the pandemic, is threatening the sector’s impact.” - Ontario NonProfit Network
So, if our sector is experiencing a human resource crisis—that means our people are suffering. If our people are suffering, we must provide comfort.
The 4C Framework is focussed on helping to fix this problem. In the first article in this series, we made the case for workplace wellbeing. In the second we talked about ways to assess and improve the culture of your organization. Now let’s talk about how we work together.
The second “C” is COLLABORATION.
How we work together is fundamentally important to being able to get results for our communities. But what do you do when the Sunday Scaries start to hijack your weekends?
Here are a few ideas:
1. Acknowledge that things are tense.
We are all human, with different perspectives, working styles and ways of communicating. Sometimes being too “professional” gives way to dysfunctional politeness, which can then become passive aggressive, tense and impact the entire team.
Years ago, when I had started a job as a director of fundraising, I was asked to come in and “right the ship.” I am embarrassed to admit that, at that time, I had just started travelling and speaking and I thought I was a big deal. I had a hero complex and was eager to create quick, sweeping change and save the day. I can now see that was behaving like a bull in a china shop.
My boss was also a very strong woman. It seemed like she didn’t like any of the changes she had hired me to implement. I got a lot of push back. I started to think of her as incompetent. She began to regret her decision to bring me in. We both had the Sunday Scaries – because we knew we weren’t working well together and that it was impacting the entire team.
As my three-month probation period came to an end, we were faced with a choice—make it work or cut our losses. The entire wellbeing of the team depended on the two of us figuring it out.
With a great deal of humility on both our parts, we decided to slow down and work on our relationship. Our conflict shifted from conflict against each other, to aligned conflict against a shared situation. Our team followed, and over time we raised millions of dollars and had a massive impact on our community. Eventually we became friends, vacationed together and volunteered on boards together.
This turned out to be one of the most rewarding relationships in my career because we worked on it. I’m so grateful to her for that chance.
We need tension to get traction but if things are getting too tense, ask yourself the source of the conflict. Is it personal or situational? Psychologist Adam Grant has written about conflict in his book, Rethinking if you are interested in exploring it further.
2. Find your common vision.
Work with your staff to decide where you want to be. Having common goals helps people feel like they are working together as a part of a team. Determining your shared objectives and reminding people of the role they play in getting there, will create unity and minimize competition.
3. Values. Values. Values!
Values-driven teams go further, farther, faster together.
The importance of having alignment around values cannot be overstated. The world is a dynamic place and values will shift and change with the external landscape. So, it is important to keep checking in and asking your team if the existing values are still relevant and if so, are your organizational actions aligned with your values? If there is discord it’s probably because your actions are not aligned with your values.
Having aligned values and operationalizing them together will help your team respect each other, make decisions better together and be more authentic. You will attract employees who personally share those values and your team will be stronger.
4. Designed alliance.
Do you know why geese fly in a “V” formation? Because the uplift of the goose in front helps support the goose behind. The lead goose rotates in and out so that the burden of being the lead is shared. By reducing wind resistance, the geese can fly together for longer period. I quite like that.
Having a conversation with your team about how you want to treat each other, what to do if things start feeling tense and how to support each other and hold each other accountable is important.
At a team retreat, the development team of a former client decided to create what they called “A Team Promise.” I’ve also heard it be called a covenant. Detailing a covenant with your team will help them know what to do if something doesn’t feel quite right.
I also like a tool that Brené Brown uses. “The story I’m telling myself in my head is…” This sentence structure offers the opportunity to share in a way that isn’t personal, and gives permission to talk about insecurities while checking in with each other.
In summary
Talk about the Sunday Scaries. Ask your team what it would take to reassure them that your priority is their mental health. Get their input and participation in a common vision, aligned values and a designed alliance. Provide the psychological safety they need to thrive.
Lean into the vulnerability of these conversations and as Brené Brown says, be awkward, brave and kind together.
This work might feel like a distraction from your day-to-day urgent tasks, but I encourage you to take a pause and focus on the connection, authenticity and humanity of your team. They are very likely under significant strain and could use a collective deep breath. Doing this work has the opportunity create a positive shift in your overall culture.
Please share this article with your team and ask for their input. If you aren’t sure where to start, give me a call. I can help.
Next: We tackle the third “C” – CONFIDENCE.
Kimberley MacKenzie, CPCC, ACC is a leadership coach for overwhelmed charity executives who need space to think, get clarity, set goals and take action. She is a former charity executive, consultant, CFRE and editor for Charity eNews. Kimberley is AFP Master Trainer and expert team facilitator. You can reach Kimberley at k@kimberleymackenzie.ca or follow her on Instagram @kimberleycanada.
