Recently a trusted, brilliant, dear friend told me it was upsetting when I ended a conversation with the word “whatever.” I promised to reflect on it and be mindful of using it as often as I do, and I do use it a lot. And so do my friends. It is meant to convey a desire to sever an attachment to the situation. It is the verbal equivalent to throwing up my hands and throwing in the towel. I use the expression when I feel defeated.
How does this tie into donor stewardship?
I was speaking to a colleague who used it when we were talking about some bespoke stewardship programs, the kind that takes into consideration exactly who the donor is and what they have given to. Then it looks at ways of letting them know how much their generosity means to the organization, in a unique and personal way. He “whatevered” a couple of suggestions and so we talked about what was going on.
His heart just was not in it.
He was not up to date on his communications with other donors and the task of creating something special and personal, regardless how simple, seemed just too much. I realized that I too have let a few stewardship tasks slide: the personalized handwritten thank-you cards, the call (in a timely manner) to people I have met with, to thank them for their time and sometimes being treated to lunch or a coffee. My usual promptness had been getting away from me too. Then we talked about the probability of it even being noticed or cared about - and that is when I realized we had a problem!
We asked other colleagues in the NFP sector how they were feeling about stewardship. The discussion suggested several things, many related to simply being exhausted and not mentally prepared to provide for others, let alone ourselves. One person suggested it may because our personal ROI is often hidden from view and in some cases not existing at all.
I mentioned how last year I used my artistic skills and hand-made all my holiday cards, but not one person acknowledged my efforts. Another person mentioned an event they did where their attention to detail was outstanding, but they still got negative feedback. Another had written a detailed report and gotten a form letter in acknowledgment. Situations like this makes stewardship a daunting task. The safety advice to “put your own life preserver on first” has worn thin. How do you take care of others in a meaningful way and not lose yourself?
It's about perspective.
Donor stewardship must be authentic. It is a delicate balance, between thanking for one gift while laying the foundation for the next. It is keeping a series of touch points going that are personalized and open and thinking about your donors and prospects in an ongoing loop. But then where do you fit in? How do you keep it from feeling like a spinning hamster wheel?
That value of stewardship
There is no getting around it, stewardship is a vital part of philanthropic development and is often the fun part. It comes after a gift is made and involves looking for ways to say thank you and show donors their return on investment with bespoke programs and tools in the form of communications, events, and forms of public recognition. Stewardship is making sure that gifts are used as donors intended. It includes providing updates on progress and impact and ultimately working to create an ongoing, mutually beneficial relationship.
It became clear though our discussions that we may falter on what “mutually beneficial” means. The benefit we development professionals receive, is the gift made to the organizations we represent. It is the horse before the cart. Stewardship is the benefit the donor receives. Stewardship can not have the expectation that the donor will reciprocate the thanks given, as stewardship is a responsive action that continuously repeats itself in relation to the receipt of donor gifts. If I was expecting to be thanked for my thanks, I was looking at the process in the wrong way.
In whatever stewardship model used: a report from a grateful recipient, a story of success that the donor’s generosity influenced, a picture of the building funded through a donor’s generosity, or attending an event to honor our philanthropists, we fundraisers share in the benefit because we are part of the process of realizing the gift.
We read the report and feel a connection because we helped to ensure that a gift was used in the spirit the donor intended. We read about the KPI’s and feel pride in the organizations we work with, and we can attend bespoke events that we worked to create, feeling part of a community that cares deeply about contributing to make our world better.
In this way, the “thanks for the thanks” can be self-fulfilled gratitude for a job continuously well done. Reflect upon the numerous ways you connect with your donors and the positive interactions that result. A donor saying yes to a coffee to deliver a report, making another gift, creating an introduction to another prospective donor, or opening their home to guests on behalf of your organization, are all forms of thanks for a job well done. A job that earned their trust – the greatest recognition of all.
Debbie Dankoff, MPNL, PPCC, CFRE has been working in the not-for-profit sector for over thirty years. The bulk of her career has been in major gift fundraising for higher education. Debbie is a certified Professional & Personal Coach, who uses her training when consulting for a variety of organizations in the charitable sector; her focus being on organizational development, donor stewardship and self-care.
Article Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash.
