When my mother in law was dying I asked my friend, who is a minister, what I could do? I felt so helpless. Kirsty told me that when people are near death they really just want to talk and need someone to listen. This piece of advice made being with my mother in law at the end of her life so much easier.
My mother in law took her last breath in a room that was full of laughter. She was finally at peace. Being there that day changed the way I viewed the end of life. I learned that death, while sad, could be as natural and as beautiful as a loud and painful childbirth.
What does this deeply personal experience have to do with fundraising? A lot…
Being a fundraiser is a great privilege. Being the kind of fundraiser who helps people iron out the details of their estate plans is a great honour. Over the years I have had many conversations with donors that have left me deeply humbled. These are some of the things I’ve learned:
Make the time
Nothing you have to do that day is more important than talking to someone about their final wishes in life. Nothing. A meeting that is scheduled for an hour may turn into three. Gently move it forward to make sure the business objectives are accomplished and be available to listen to your donor talk about their life, their dreams, their regrets and their final wishes. Legacy gifts are not about you or your charity. Legacy gifts are 100% donor centred. Always make the time.
Be sure you can keep your promise
A donor might suggest something very specific like a place they visited or a play they saw. Try to understand their motivations by asking open-ended questions like:
‘It sounds like you love visiting the XYZ exhibit in the museum. Can you tell me more about that?’
Actively listen and turn off the `yes but…` thoughts swimming around in your head. Be truly curious. Once you understand the true motivations of the suggestion you will be in a much better position to meet their desire to be affiliated with a certain feeling or place or program. You can then offer a less restrictive solution.
For example. Perhaps you work for a theatre company and your donor fell in love with a cutting edge contemporary new play. What the donor might say is `I love the David Mamet plays your company produces and I want to leave a legacy toward that.` Through active listening we can get to the underlying motivation. It isn`t realistic for a bequest to be directed toward producing David Mamet plays every year – in perpetuity. Perhaps the legacy your donor is striving for is an endowment to ensure that your theatre company always has the funding to try new, leading edge and risky productions.
You can get to this place through actively listening to your donor.
Be truly honest
If you don`t think that your charity is the right one or that perhaps they have your charity mixed up with another one make sure you clarify immediately. I have had donors talk to me and use the name of another charity. It is always a little bit risky to make sure they called the right place. No one wants a bequest that was intended for someone else.
Be respectful
This may seem like I`m pointing out the obvious but I`m doing it anyway. Your Legator is very likely much closer and more experienced with the cause than you are. Organizing their affairs may be slightly overwhelming due to frequent conversations with financial advisors, lawyers and balancing family needs and obligations. With some people, their thoughts may wander or their bodies may be frail. Respect their experience and wisdom. I believe our job is to help the process of finalizing an estate to be as simple as possible.
Our most important role when working with legacy donors is to offer peace of mind through empathy and understanding.
Know your job
Sometimes planned giving can be complex. Don’t try to fake your way through conversations if you get beyond your expertise. Remind your donor to discuss their plans with their financial advisor and their family. Then explain why. It is very important that everyone understands that your charity is in the will because the donor wanted it there. Not because you did something to entice, manipulate or coerce. It is better if the family can be part of this decision. To get there there you may try saying something like this.
`Mrs. Norman, It really has been a pleasure talking to you about your estate plans. We at xyz charity are very grateful for your decision to include us in your Will. Please remember to discuss your plans with your financial advisor (or executor or lawyer)and if you are comfortable doing so, with your family. If we are all aware of your desires it will be easier to ensure that your wishes are granted.`
Discuss recognition
Wills are pretty dry reading. It can be very helpful to a charity to have details of how the Legator would like to be acknowledged, even including the wording they would like placed on a bench or a plaque. Having these details in the Will can ensure that in ten years, when the donor is gone and you have moved on, your charity doesn`t have to guess what was promised. Your charity will be legally bound to carry out the donor`s wishes if it is written in the Will. Just make sure that you negotiate something realistic and easy for your charity to implement.
In Summary
Working on a planned giving portfolio can be very rewarding. Being comfortable with the final stages of life can help make conversations easiers. If you haven`t had the experience of taking the final steps of life with someone then I would suggest reading Tuesday`s with Morrie by Mitch Albom. This book is an amazing thesis not just on how to die but mostly how to live. And isn`t that really what legacy fundraising is all about – helping people live with peace, knowing that they have helped make a difference in the world, long after their lives will be over.
Kimberley MacKenzie is editor of Hilborn Charity eNews and a Change Management Consultant who helps a variety of charities get transformative results. You can learn more about her at her website.
