When I tell someone that I am a professional fundraiser, they usually say something like “Wow. I could NEVER ask people for money.”
Let’s take a minute to dissect this. Asking for money, by definition, implies that someone has something you want or need, and that person may or may not give it to you.
My professional approach to “asking” couldn’t be further from this yes or no paradigm.
What if asking could be an organic process, where you mutually create small yesses to get towards something that feels good for both of you?
Would you rather be asked, or invited to make a gift?
Would you rather be surprised, or prepared to make a gift?
Let’s stop talking about asks and start talking about invitations
An invitation feels very different – both for the asker and the receiver. All of a sudden, it’s not a them/us paradigm, but rather a “we” opportunity.
Small yesses, along with permission-based asking is a powerhouse duo of success for fundraisers and leaders. You will recognize permission-based language in the open-ended questions below.
May I share something remarkable with you?
Might you have time next week to talk about this in more depth?
If we were to explore your family making a gift to our organization, what would be most important to you?
Would you be available to speak with me Tuesday at 4 pm?
The single biggest mistake professional fundraisers make, is not asking for the next yes
The difference between a meaningful conversation and a coffee date is the next small yes.
Permission based asking means you will rarely ask a question that surprises someone or puts them off guard. Why? Because if you follow the method taught in my Ask for Anything: The Masterclass, the prospective donor always leads.
Your job is to get clarity at each step, to validate what you are hearing, and offer another small yes opportunity.
Imagine it like a big pot of chili. You’re making the chili together, and you’re asking: Do you like hot peppers? How long did your mom’s recipe cook for on the stove? What was her secret ingredient? At the end, you’re bound to end up with a tasty version that you BOTH like. Why? Because you both had input into it. When you DON’T seek feedback along the way, you waste a lot of time, coming back with a fully cooked chili that neither of you like.
Keep probing with small yes questions
Don’t ever assume you know what the donor is thinking and be brave enough to ask the important questions.
Is now a good time for us to talk about when you will make your gift?
Would you be willing to share your vision of the timing of your gift?
How can I best support you as we step into this incredible journey together?
This is going to take time.
Manage the small yesses.
Be bold and ask for the next step. It’s way more important than the “ask.” It’s the way forward together.
Jenny Mitchell is an executive coach and professional fundraiser. She is on a mission to help people have more meaningful conversations. Register for her Ask for Anything: The Masterclass Program to find out how.
**Preferred pricing is available for Hilborn Charity eNEWS readers and AFP members. Email Jenny@Chavender.com for more information.
Jenny’s company, Chavender, assists clients from across Canada and the U.S., to inspire their donors and achieve their fundraising goals through personalized fundraising coaching and training. Before completing her CFRE, Jenny trained as a classical musician and earned her Doctorate of Musical Arts. She brings her creative approach, her drive for excellence, and her passion for people to the world of not-for-profits.
